Everything is in the right place, in the right moment. Life is perfect even when it seems completely off. Let me give you the account of my last couple of days, it is a nice illustration of these claims.
As you all know, schools are quite severely subjected to all sorts of rules to ensure the safety of students and teachers alike in times of Covid-19. Months ago I proclaimed I would never agree to teaching with a mask, in a classroom full of masked students. Well, the day has come that this is our reality and I have the choice between complying and taking unpaid vacation. Since I am here (in Bruges) to make and save money for the Bulgarian project, the latter is not an option. I was lucky (or unfortunate, depending from which perspective) to arrive with a plane from an ‘Orange zone’ which made the principle of the school decide I should quarantine for two weeks, as recommended by law. At least this gave me some ‘postponing of execution’ and I could focus on my tarot business and music, and mentally prepare for a very different way of teaching. Preparing the actual classes would have to wait until the second week. First I wanted to land softly in my Belgian life and write and read, read, read.
I am reading this wonderful book ‘The Power of Emotions’ by Riet Okken. It came my way through my best friend Jay who got in touch with the writer through their mutual love for Human Design. She is an amazing therapist according to Jay, and reading the book I have to acknowledge this to be true. Especially in combination with meeting this other therapist at the Bulgarian seaside (another story), the reading of this book has moved me deeply. Since I am so inspired by her writing and I am looking for interesting people to interview for my ‘Dreamers Unite’ podcast, I wrote her an e-mail to invite her, and at the same time inquire about this weekend she announces on her website: two days of group therapy in a small town in the north of Holland, next week. In a quick reply she told me that she would be happy to do the interview and that there is still one open spot for the weekend. But when I read the price of the weekend I am put off. I already spent more than I should this month, opening accounts on wordpress, signing up for a tarot course and, of course: buying more books, about the sacred feminine this time (hoping this will help me open more deeply to a healthy pregnancy). Absolutely well spent money. But do I want to spend all the money I have for this month on another course? A very useful one, a good investment probably. Also, I don’t want to live with a mindset of lack, but with one of abundance! I talk about it with my man and he leaves it up to me but I can tell he thinks I am crazy to even consider it. He is probably right. When I check my school mailbox later that night, I see the coördinator informs me that i won’t be teaching level 6, but level 3 instead. Good that I didn’t start preparing classes!
The next morning I am still in bed when the doorbell rings. I hurry to put on my sweatpants and rush downstairs to open the door. It’s the mailman with the re-usable coffee pods for the Nespresso machine. Yay! I can’t wait to try. Thank you mailman! I open the box and check out the metal pods. They come with instructions that I obviously don’t read, it’s all self-explanatory: fill the pod, screw it shut, put it in the machine, make the coffee. Easy. The brew is nice, I feel pretty smug thinking of Davids reluctance to get these madly expensive reusables and how well they turn out. When I open the machine drawer to take out the used pod, only the lid is in there. And the pod? After a short investigation I find it well tucked into the machine, and not moving the tiniest bit when I try to poke it out. U-OH. The earlier smugness turns into a slight panic. This is Davids machine, and I just broke it! Or did I? When I read the instructions, I kinda guess I did. There are warnings to screw the pod really well and tight and check before putting it in, otherwise risking to break your machine. OH FUCK.
After my two hour class with Bede (masterme.com, another story) whom I amused with my Nespresso nightmare (ànd who advised me against going on that expensive therapeutical weekend), I was determined to solve the frustrating conundrum. I checked a bunch of youtube-tutorials on how to open the darned machine and got to it. It was my great pleasure (not) to discover how Krups, as well as many other companies, makes sure home-repairs become close to impossible by screwing their machines with tiny little oval screws that are basically un- unscrewable by anyone except Krups mechanics. Unless your name is Tinie! I crossed the street to the do-it-yourself-store and looked for a fitting tool (that doesn’t exist) and even material to make a little tool myself, but the metal pipes they sold were too wide for my idea. Eventually I retreated into the next door supermarket to buy some dinner, hoping that being in the aura of strangers would help me process this nonsensical drama. Back home I got back to it simply using a pincher. It literally took me over an hour to unscrew six screws.The uncapping of the plastic body took another hour. I was really afraid to break any of the parts so I was extremely careful, but being too careful also doesn’t work to get the stubborn shell to click off. The entire business got me really nervous and angry. I yelled and punched my sofa a bunch, the way it is taught in ‘The Power of Emotions’. A lot of pent up anger there, wow. And not just about a pod stuck in a machine. That weekend in Holland was probably not such a bad idea after all.
Around three pm I finally had the coffeemaker naked before me, but to get to the arm that had the pod stuck in it, more disassembling was needed. I was afraid I would end up breaking the machine, and I decided to check how much one of these Nespresso Citiz costs. Once I saw the machine on the website (bol.com) I felt relieved that it was not that expensive, but then another rush of anger came over me: I invest in two ridiculously expensive reusable pods for the sake of saving money and resources in the long run, and now, because of my stupid clumsiness, one 30 euro pod is stuck in a 150 euro machine!! And I am worried about overspending???????? AAARGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My eye catches another espressomachine in the same price range that works without pods altogether and in a spell of disgust for anything pod, I click to buy, and pay. Aaah what relief! Finally we will make espresso the decent way, without wasting aluminum on pods ever again, or risking our machine with dangerous reusables! Sob.
Around five pm I am still attempting to further open the wretched machine and finally David comes home. Quite embarrassed, I tell him what is going on, and he reacts exactly the way that makes me love him so much: calm, reassuring and kind. He smiles and kisses me and while I get on with cooking dinner he continues the disassembly of the machine. Half hour later the pod is out, the machine is reassembled, and a nice espresso pours out, brewed with a tightly shut reusable pod. It hasn’t gotten stuck since!
Today I checked my bol.com account, wondering why the new machine hadn’t been delivered yet. Turns out the payment didn’t go through! So that useless purchase was never made! Last night I also got an email from the writer/therapist to give me a chance to join the weekend for a smaller fee. She doesn’t want money to be the thing that stops me from taking the next important step in my life, and gives me the complete liberty to feel for myself whether this weekend is for me. Finally, I got word from the coördinator from school, telling me I am no longer supposed to teach level 3, but level 1 instead. Amazing! Instead of preparing classes with brand new material I never used, I will be preparing classes with material I used before and already am well familiar with. Every teacher will understand how much more time it takes to start working with new materials. Thank God I was procrastinating and I didn’t start on the level 3 preparations yet.
So you see. A long story, but hopefully you get the point. All is well, we are guided and protected, even in the darkest hour.
Godspeed dear readers, until next time!
Tinie
