Hey dear reader
Wow so much emotion yesterday, crazy. I was putting the final touches to this website, and then did something that didn’t have the desired effect: I couldn’t even find the website back! I kept coming onto the old website, and I totally panicked. Thank god for help desks and tech support, they helped me resolve the issue the same evening so at least I could sleep.
When I was making a cup of tea to calm my nerves, David called me outside to watch the full moon. The deep dark blue sky was covered in fluffy clouds, it looked like a beach when the sea is ebbing, and the wind made the clouds drift by, covering and uncovering the bright full moon. It was breath taking and I felt the lesson so strongly. I need to trust more and freak out less. Help is on the way when you need it. Problems have solutions. We get what we can handle. All is well, everything has a purpose.
But in meantime my heart felt like a boulder just crashed on it and my shoulders had turned to concrete. It struck me how anxiety and stress instantly affect my body. The fight/flight/freeze-mode is strong in this one… David tried to massage the tension out but it will take several sessions and some serious breath work to release it all.
And some kicking the boxing bag. Love to kick the boxing bag and get the anger and frustration out. Anger and frustration about how we are forced into using technology that is not always as easily accessible, about my ignorance, about being helpless, about being dependant, about not being in control, ultimately about being a person. It’s not easy to be a person sometimes. Anger happens. That energy needs an outlet.
Long live the boxing bag. Long live the blue moon. Long live life.
